I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
