we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
