Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize