i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
