I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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