Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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