Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
