Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize