is your mom at the bar?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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