so explain again why im purple
no
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Randomize
