I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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