Swine flu. Run for my life!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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