She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Who died my cat blue again?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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