if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
