she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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