That's intense
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
