I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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