when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
