im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My balls are so social today.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
