Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
