Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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