I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
