I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize