i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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