Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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