uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
