Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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