I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
