it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
