I hate your face
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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