I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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