My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
