David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
