this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.