He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
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I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
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Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.