My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.