I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
