sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
