I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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