How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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