Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
