Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(269): View more from Michigan

I'm on that like soy sauce on rice

Fav 3 1676 900
share tweet
(905): View more from Toronto

I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"

Fav 15 1186 2589
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave

Fav 33 10552 1420
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

Fav 20 8868 1661
share tweet
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights

Fav 21 3373 2783
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.

Fav 6 1138 2510
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?

Fav 36 7004 1158
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful

Fav 1 455 211
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(701): View more from North Dakota

I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT

Fav 3 59 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT