I molested 6 butterflies tonight
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
