Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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