We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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