Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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