I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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