i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
