he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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