so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
