He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
