my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize