youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
