I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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