i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
