you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
His hands were made for my vagina.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think your dad took our porno
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
