i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I AM VODKA MAN
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize
