you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
