Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
