Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
