just come out here and I will go home with you...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
