I just pynch a tree in the face
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
