i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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