I puked a lego.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Alive.
So much puke
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
