South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize