For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
