absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
