Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
