Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
